What a VC, Me, Can Help with Your Being A Trillionaire
By Larry Chiang
A trillion is a thousand billions.
You and your widget that you just invented is gonna make you rich with or without me.
Here are components you should seriously consider BEFORE YOU BECOME SERIOUSLY RICH:
-1- Lottery winners wanna kill themselves at 6x the norm
Winning the lottery sometimes sucks. But it is always challenging
There is a slew of problems that you do not know how to handle. You and your trillion dollar exit are in great peril. Know this and try to solve your future problems now that your new widget solves ________ _________ ________.
-2- Asset Lease Back Service
My friends who are dudes get married.
Their wives make them sell their motorcycle or Porsche if they’re a douche VC.
I take in their asset into my garage and let them borrow it when their wife goes to do a girlfriends weekend. It’s like an asset leaseback service.
-3- Cash Lease-Back Service for You
As a trillionaire, you can’t walk Baxter in the dog park without having someone pitch you on why they need a million. They never ask for different amounts, it’s always 1,000,000.
Don’t get me wrong, the first 2 or three times, you get pitched, it feels good. 2 or three thousand times… Not so good.
Here is how you solve the problem of people wanting to kidnap your dog Baxter and hold him ransom for about a million bucks.
Blame me, the bad VC that stole your equity.
Publish that story in the WSJ.
Remember, I don’t make any money being a VC. I wanna be a bad boy with a bad rep. I’m needing a little sour to go with my sweet.
Claiming your VC stole your stake is a time-honored tradition. Sometimes, it’s what really happens. But claiming Larry Chiang stole it is plausible.
I love countermeasures.
Countermeasure #1 is start *another* company like a lemonade stand business where you’re executing 13 guacamole recipes after you’re a trillionaire is a countermeasure. And fundraise 800k convertible no cap note just to hammer home that you are kinda poor.
I have more thoughts so text me
CEO of Duck9
Stanford University EIR (Entrepreneur in Residence)
Duck9 = Deep Underground Credit Knowledge 9
125 University Avenue/ 100
Palo Alto CA 94301
Editor of the BusinessWeek Channel “What They Don’t Teach at Business School” http://whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.com/blog CNN Video Channel: http://ireport.cnn.com/people/larrychiang
Read my last 10 tweets at http://www.Twitter.com/LarryChiang
Author, NY Times Bestseller
“What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School” comes out 11-11-12
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